I think I'm in L.o.v.e.

Let me document some things.

May 16th: I met (Ok, not met... I already knew him since the seventh grade) We'll say ran into Dylan Cardwell while at a party. Exchanged numbers and that's where it all began.

Summer 2009: Went swimming in "the river" (there were actually a few rivers we went to that summer.) for the first time. Wore a bathing suit confidently in front of a male for the first time. And received my first fishing license (which I never actually used... but he was sweet to buy it :)

July 20th 2009: We DTR (Determined the Relationship) Actually he'd been asking "Will you be my girlfriend?" for about a month before that. ha. I just finally gave in. That sounds terrible... But I was just making him work a little, ya know?

Sometime in September 2009: (I'll look up the actual date) I was stressed to the max. Studying for my first test in Anatomy. Anxiety attacks all over the place. He kept calling and texting me. I could've strangled him. I wanted to. I was very short and hateful when he called for the last time... trying to explain how serious it was that I studied instead of talk to him. Minutes later he showed up at my door with my favorite sonic drink in his hand. He looked so handsome that night. I knew I loved him then. He puts up with me so well. Not to mention, surprising me with my favorite sonic drink is pretty high on my list of expectations for a man...

December 25th 2009: Our first Christmas. We hadn't been getting along all of Christmas break. But on Christmas day we pulled ourselves together and had a good time. he got me a patagonia jacket that I really wanted and a pearl necklace. I got him a watch that he really wanted and some other little things. We spent the majority of the day with my family.

December 31st 2009: Worst.Fight.Ever. Isn't it funny... I can't even remember what it was about... But I remember the "talk" we had. I remember how I felt. I remember where we were. And I remember spending that night alone while he was at a party. I watched "My Sisters Keeper" and ate about 3 bowls of Chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup while crying my eyes out (over the movie. not him.) I was sure we were going to break up the next day. Even planning out what to say and how to do it in my head.

January 1st-2nd 2010: LONG TALKS. LONG PRAYERS. WITH GOD. I had to turn to someone else for guidance. Who else? I prayed that God show me the right choice. I wanted to have that "gut feeling" of what I was supposed to do. He told me to stay with Dylan. He told me to WAIT and see what was to come. I listened.

January 3rd 2010: I helped him pack for his 6 month leave to Afghanistan. We got along pretty well. No real serious talk. Stayed up late that night. I tried to calm his nerves but that night was just weird. We were both dreading the next day.

January 4th 2010: He left for Afghanistan. Sad day. Fought back tears the whole way home. I was scared for him and HATED seeing him so stressed out and nervous that morning. We held hands the whole way there... And I wished so bad we were doing it on the way back.

January 5th 2010: I drove around town that day, and EVERY thing I saw that reminded me of him made tears well up in my eyes. I didn't go to sonic. I didn't go to walmart, or target, or the mall. I couldn't drive on his side of town. I just got teary eyed. I hated the fact that I'd have to miss out on all those things with him for the next 6 months. Family and friends were so sweet to keep up with me all day. I got lots of phone calls and those made me smile :)

Sometime in late January 2010:I knew. I just knew. I won't explain how I knew... maybe on a later date... But for now, I'll skip all the gooey details and just tell you that I KNEW... Dylan Cardwell was someone special and that I needed him in my life.

I can't wait for him to get home so we can see if those feelings I have for him are true.

I love the fact that this situation has brought me closer to God. I'm glad I was still and that I listened. I'm glad that those two men are in my life.

I'm a lucky girl :)