May 10, 2013

First of all, I apologize for the lack of blogging. I've had good intentions, but I really want to start a new blog and I'm having trouble creating it. Blogger is so confusing, and I get frustrated. But I really need to make more time for blogging, since big things are happening.

Back to May 10th.

It was a Friday and it couldn't have gotten there any sooner. I put in a loooong week at work. Tension was high because rumor around the school building was that a Kindergarten position was going to open up. I don't have a teaching license yet, but because I'm in graduate school to earn my Master's in Teaching, I can apply for certified positions and apply for my provisional license. Rumors literally swirled for about two months about this position, and I felt like every day I was riding an emotional roller coaster. Because of some things I heard right before I left the building, I left work crying. It was also finals week, so I had been carrying that stress around with me as well, but I was just DONE by 3:30 on Friday, and I left work a sobbing mess.

Dylan had been talking all week about how we needed to celebrate the end of finals (he's in school, too) by going out on Friday night in Fort Smith to eat sushi and drink wine. I was sooooo tired and so I sent him a text, asking if we could celebrate on Saturday night instead.

Dylan was at a long drill weekend in Fort Smith. He had been there since Wednesday night, and he can't have his phone on him at work, so I couldn't call. So I got my momma on the line, and just vented, and cried and sobbed. She kept saying I needed to relax and unwind and that I should just redo my make up, pack a bag, and head to Fort Smith to spend some time with Dylan.

So I did. I went home, took my dear sweet time getting ready, and started to head down to the Fort. Dylan had sent me a text at this point saying it was really important to him that we go out that night, not Saturday night.

Dylan really wanted me there at 6:30, but I didn't even leave my house until after 6:30, so I didn't get to Fort Smith until 7:30. I talked to him a couple of times on the way there, and he kept asking, "where are you now?" which wasn't completely out of the ordinary, but it was a little strange...

When I finally got there, he met me in the hotel parking lot and carried my bag up. I told him I HAD to spend about 15 minutes on the computer before we went out to eat because I had a final paper due at midnight for an online class. It was finished, I just had to submit it which was kind of a process and I'd been putting it off for a couple days.

I was so frustrated trying to figure out the online submission thing, sitting on the couch in the hotel room, when Dylan handed me two tickets he bought to ride the Ferris wheel down town. He said they expired at 8:00 so we had better get down there. I gave up on the paper submission at that point and decided I'd just do it after dinner.

Our hotel was down town, so we set out on foot and walked a few blocks to this beautiful West End park where there was Ferris wheel and carousel overlooking the river. The sun was setting. It was beautiful.

As we approached the Ferris wheel, I thought it was odd that it was empty. There were people down below, but no one riding. We hopped on, and rode to the tip top.

I'm not going to lie. I was scared. We had been on that Ferris wheel last summer. It was built in 1918 and while it was beautiful, it was really rickety and old. I held on tight and refused to look anywhere but straight ahead.
Dylan kept asking me to calm down and look at him. I kept saying no. When he finally got my attention, I heard the words,

"WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

I said, "no," because that question is popped often in our relationship in a joking manner any time I do something "cute."

He told me he was serious this time, and pointed over to the lawn beneath the Ferris wheel, and this is what I saw

Our crazy families, and my very best friend and her husband. It was the best sight I'd ever seen.

He pulled the most gorgeous ring out of his pocket and I think my response was, "Is this real?!" It was all real. He kept saying, "it is all real."

And it was! We're ENGAGED!!

My sweet Daddy treated all of us to dinner at La Huerta down town :)

And my momma bought a cake for us to cut into after dinner! We held on to the secret all weekend until Sunday night dinner at my aunt and uncles house where we surprised everyone with the news. Mom bought a huge, beautiful cake to share with everyone. It was such a fun way to tell our news. I wish I had more pictures! I do somewhere... I'll get them on here :)

I am SO excited to start this chapter of my life with Dylan. I can't imagine anyone else to stand by my side during this journey.

I love you, Dyl!

Austin

I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner today so that I can show off someone pretty special…

This is my cousin, Austin.

He's been single for a while now, and he's ready to put himself back out there! And I don't blame him, ladies, he's going to make some girl VERY happy someday!

Let's get the stuff that shouldn't really matter (but does) out of the way first...

Age:27
height:5'9 - 5'10
build: athletic (single boys know to work out ;)

And on to the important things…

Austin works in his father's business in Northwest Arkansas as an electrician. He graduated from the University of Arkansas in 2008 with a degree in Agricultural Business. He owns his own home, and lives there happily with his two girl doggies, Sadie and Lola (they're Boxers, and super sweet)

One thing I love about Austin is that he's a huge family guy. In our big family, it's hard not to be, but I think it's one of Austin's best traits. He's the second oldest cousin out of 10, and he does his best to reach out to his younger cousins and be there for all of us. He's always there for me and now that we're older, I'm proud I can also call him my friend. Austin is an only child, but because there are so many of us, and because we grew up SO close, it doesn't ever seem that way.

So you know he's successful, he's independent, and you know (what I think) is the most important thing about him… Let's move on to the fun stuff and some more pictures!

Austin loves to be with his friends. Lately he's been hanging with a lot of guys who are married/in relationships and I know he'd love to have a special girl at his side, too. They're always doing fun things on the weekends like bowling, tailgating- GO HOGS!- cooking out, going to the movies, etc. But he isn't the type of guy that has to be going 24/7. He's good at chilling out and just drinking a cold beer at home on the weekends, too.

Austin is definitely a southern boy. Aside from loving football and being a true gentleman, he also goes on frequent hunting and fishing trips with his dad. They've been all over the place, for weeks at a time sometimes. He plays golf. He's also participated in co-ed softball/baseball teams, and enjoys playing on other sports teams like that as well.

I've talked with Austin enough to know what he wants and deserves from a girl…

She has to be cute, fun-loving, and successful (or on her way to successful :) She has to have a sense of humor because she'll need it to fit in with our fam ;) but she also needs common sense. He needs someone who will bring out the best in him, so he can bring out the best in her. He DESERVES a lady. He deserves to have someone to spend time with on the weekends and take out on dates in the middle of the week for no reason at all. Someone who he can be spontaneous with, but at the same time - someone to settle down with and make plans with. He's a family man, girls. I know I've said it already, but it is SO important to him. He wants a wife and a family someday but he is so serious about it, and he wants that happiness in life so badly… that he isn't going to settle. He won't rush. He's going to take his time and make sure you're the one he wants. And he's worth it. I promise you he's worth it.

If you have any more questions about Austin that you'd like answered, PLEASE email me at ereagan14@gmail.com. I'd be so happy to answer them for you! And if you'd like to contact Austin, please either leave a comment or feel free to email me as well. Enjoy the pictures below. I'll be praying for each single girl that reads this post… and of course, for Austin :)

Deployment Blog

Head over to www.emilyanddylan2012.blogspot.com to check out the new deployment blog I just started :) Chances are, that one will be updated a lot more than this one…

My Twenties

Praying to God is hard to do after you haven't done it for so long. I just find myself making up excuses and apologizing in circles, which is getting me no where. He already knows my heart.
I think it is hard right now because I've been off the wagon for so long- why would he help me now if it's been months since I've even offered a prayer or expressed my thankfulness? I don't deserve him.

I'm sitting outside on Dylan's back porch, listening to a mix of birds chirping and dozing trucks from the construction down the street. Maybe it's too busy out here to even clear my mind for prayer. But I'm trying.

Dylan found this interview clip on YouTube a couple of nights ago. Katie Couric interviewing Meg Jay who wrote the book "Defining Decade, Why Your Twenties Matter and How to Make the Most of them Now." The video clip was a wake up call. So much so that I'm afraid to read the book but I think I should...

She explains that the neurons in your brain do their last little set of synapses in your twenties. I learned about this in my neurology class in college, your neurons synapse when you're a newborn, when you're in puberty, and then once more when you're an adult but I had no idea when. The reality is, according to Meg Jay, if you want to change something about yourself, you should do it in your twenties. It's your last chance.

Oh the things I want to change...


I need to stand up for myself without coming across as hurtful, or selfish.
I need confidence.
I need to end the jealousy.
I need to trust that my life will work out the way it is supposed to.
I need to let God have the control like I used to.

Things are not well. Between the job searching, Dylan leaving, and the countless amount of company we've had at our house already this summer, I just can't hold it together.

I HATE not knowing where my life is headed as far as my career goes. I am MAD that I have a college degree that I can't do anything with. I get so frustrated every time I have to explain my degree choice to others, I'm just sick of reliving the story. I'm sick of saying I didn't make it into grad school.

I need a job. I need an interview. I need someone to notice my hard work and give me a chance. More than that, I need to have a purpose. I need to wake up everyday with a plan and a goal, because when that happens, I'm a much happier and healthier Emily.

I need confidence. With Dylan, with friends, with family. I feel so unworthy and so lost. I know this isn't true- but I feel like everybody else has a purpose and a life... I'm just floating around lost in space. I've gotten to a point where I don't even want to talk about where I am, so I quickly change the subject if someone asks. I'm don't feel worthy enough to even talk about the accomplishments I HAVE made.

With all the family in town, my parents have put forth a lot of effort into being hostesses. They are very giving and selfless and I hope that someday I can inherit that trait and see the world as they do. But right now, I'm just mad about it. I NEED their help, and their attention, and their support in this trying time in my life. And they don't really have enough time or energy to give me all they've got. Which makes me jealous of my extended family who rotates in and out of the guest bedroom. I wish I wasn't like that. I wish I didn't have a jealous bone in my body. I wish I could see the world through my parents eyes.

With all the jealousy, I have gained a sharp tongue. I'm quick to tell or show how I feel when I'm angry. I call it "standing up for myself" but I do this without thinking of other people and how they would feel. I wish I could stand up for myself in a tactful way. I wish my parents weren't afraid of my sharp tongue. I wish my mom could see where I'm coming from- maybe live life in my shoes for a day and see how hurtful it is to just blend in with all of the cousins instead of stand out since I am actually her daughter. I wish my dad didn't have to play mediator.

I used to let God have the control. I'm not sure what changed. I don't know how I let it get so bad, but what I do know from this big mess, is that I need to start praying- as hard as that first prayer may be.

Time to start keeping up with this thing again! Dylan leaves at the end of this month for his second deployment to Afghanistan. It will only be for a few months and while I'm so thankful for that, I'm still scared and I don't want him to go. These next few months are going to be pretty boring, I'm afraid. So I plan to record all of the boredom on here so Dylan can read allllllll about it ;) He will actually have free wifi while he's there and this time he'll have his cell phone. There is an app we've both learned about and downloaded called "Viber" that will allow us to text message each other while he is away with no cost. I'm excited about that! So I've been pretty busy soaking up time with him and looking for a job. I have an interview this afternoon that I'm pretty excited about! I've worked SO hard trying to get my name out there to all of the schools and FINALLY it is paying off! In just TWO days I had 3 people contact me for interviews! So here are a few things that have been happening in our lives lately… My cousin Brad and his wife Jodie welcomed baby Hadley Jo into the world on April 7th and we were so excited to be there for them! Hadley won't have many aunts and uncles, so Katelyn and I are new "aunts" :) look at this sweeeeeet babe… I could just eat her up. Kate and I often plan "dates" with Haddie and Jodie during the day and we go hang out at their house to sip on sonic drinks and pass the babe around. Those are fun days that I hope we all will remember. Dylan's sister and nephew Evan came into town last week. They live out West and Evan is three years old (as of Monday.) This was my first time AND Dylan's first time to meet sweet Evan. He's been a lot of Fun! Here are some fun pictures of his birthday that we celebrated with him… Dylan couldn't WAIT for Evan to get here so that they could do fun "boy things." So he took Evan fishing a couple of days ago at Lake Sequoyah. Evan loved it and so did Dylan :) I came along only to take pictures of course… and to help make sure Evan didn't fall in :) Evan even caught a couple little fish on the new Spiderman fishing pole his Uncle Dyl bought him! Then we took him to my house where he ate every ripe (and some not-so-ripe) strawberry off the plants, said hello to the ponies, We wore that little boy out! More updates to come soon, Dylan and I are planning a lot of fun things before the big deployment :)

March 2012

The highlight of March was when we packed up on Friday the 23rd and headed to Hot Springs! Dylan has never been before. I have family who live there so I have lots of memories there from eating at the pancake house to dancing in the Arlington lobby on the weekend nights. Here is what our weekend looked like…

We went straight downtown to visit the hot springs- I was so excited to show Dylan.





On Saturday, after breakfast at the Pancake House, we went straight to the races!





This was the first time for either of us to go. It was a whole different world there. And let me tell you… a LOT of different walks of life we saw that day. Whew. But it was SO much fun. We placed several different bets- spent a total of 38 dollars and when we cashed in, we got 43 back. So we came out 5 dollars ahead. Not too bad :)




I think I have more pictures on my camera (the ones above are all from my phone) Because I know on Sunday before we left we toured a couple of the famous bath houses, and I got some great pictures there. So maybe a different day I'll upload those. The bath houses were so cool!

We've also been spending a lot of time outside…
Practicing horse shoes and planting some peppers and herbs.



Dylan and I love to cook, and almost every recipe we use calls for fresh cilantro or parsley. So we buy a bundle at Wal Mart for 88 cents and even though it isn't expensive- it is still wasteful because we only use a little bit and then save the rest in the fridge only to throw it away later because it goes bad. So, we decided to just plant our own! I'm REALLY excited to cook this week and use some of it! Dylan, of course, had to plant some peppers… we'll see how that goes :)



Last week I made Thai Coconut Curry Shrimp and it was DELISH! I'll make it again! We had baked squash and zucchini with it, and strawberries and blackberries for dessert :)


This past weekend we took it easy. Did some yard work and ended Saturday night like this

And he might kill me… but one last picture that I just can't leave out- Dad was transplanting two HUGE Azaleas on Saturday morning. They were so big that he had to bring out the tractor. Dylan was helping him and I walked outside to see how it was going and this was what I saw. I just cracked up laughing! What a priceless picture… I just love that they get along so well!

Happy April!