Saturday

Lately, I've been having some pretty bad days.

Those days where you just wake up mad and everything goes down hill from that point on. It was bad. I'm talking like... three weeks of bad.

Part of it (I was hoping) was just me adjusting to the "new norm" with Dylan being gone and not being able to call on him during the day and staying up WAY too late so I could "chat" with him through email.. Which really isn't chatting at all, you know. So needless to say... I've been exhausted from adjusting to my new daily schedule.

BUT

Most of it... was school.

I should be a senior this year... graduating and all. But since I spent 3 years earning my associates degree at the community college (Changed major at least 3 times) It has set me back a year and I'm technically "junior status" since being at the UofA since the fall. Well... I have ANOTHER year to go to earn my bachelors degree in Communication Disorders (which I can do nothing with) and it will take me two more years to earn my masters in Speech-Language Pathology. Thats a LONG time for me, friends. I've done the math... and I'll be TWENTY-SIX by the time I get my first "Big Girl Job" (ha)

So... Some things I was EXTREMELY frustrated with... were:

1. Why I am I working SO stinkin' hard to make good grades when there isn't even really a spot guaranteed to me in Graduate school?! What if I apply and I don't get in and so I'm set back ANOTHER year when all I really want to do it be a mommy and a wife?!

2. My advisor tells me I have to get a minor in something. I've done the research... I know which one I'd like to earn, I know the classes I'll have to take (18 HOURS WORTH OF CLASSES!!!...???) And guess what? I do.not.have.time.for.that. I don't have time. I've got to work. I've got to earn money to pay for my car, my gas, etc. HOW THE HECK AM I GOING TO PULL THIS OFF?!

3. I also have all of these "elective hours" I have to earn... I WAS AT NWACC FOR THREE STINKIN' REALLY LONG YEARS why in the world do some of those hours not transfer over? There is no reason in the world why they shouldn't... I paid for them (My parents paid for them :) I earned the good grades in them (I really did do that part) and where did they go? Apparently when you transfer to the UofA they pick and choose which ones they'd like to keep and all the others get flushed down the toilet. I thought NWACC was a good choice... Now I'm changing my mind.

So I suppose those were really all of the big things that had my stomach in knots. But all three of them combined matched with some extreme fatigue... had me set on dropping out.

*I knew I wouldn't REALLY drop out. More like, switch my major to something way more easy and less time consuming.*

So, I made an appointment with my advisor aka Larry Aslin aka the teacher of two of my classes aka the best teacher I have ever had aka the most intimidating man I've ever met.

Yesterday at 11:30 am we met in his office. I showed up with a manilla folder full of every single important paper I'd ever received in the last three years regarding my transcript. I tried to get out how I felt with out... crying... but before I knew it, my voice starting shaking and tears built up in my eyes. He pulled out a box of tissues and set them in front of me with a smile on his face and continued to (very patiently) listen.

I walked out of the meeting with this:

He told me I didn't have to get a minor (I honestly believed he told me otherwise) I asked (twice) if it would affect my chances of getting into Graduate school if I didn't have it. He said absolutely not (Both times)

He went through the papers in my manilla folder, and found the course list of all the classes I had taken and how many hours I still needed to take. Turns out (after dropping the idea of the minor) I only have two classes that I am required to take that were not offered at NWACC. and sixteen hours left of elective hours. WHEW.

Mr.Aslin is a teacher of my first class on MWF. there are 60 plus students in that class. And every day... he calls ME out. EVERY.DAY. One day, I wanted to stand up and say... do you not see the other 60 people in this room?! I even sit in-between two girls (who are my friends and I love dearly) who TEXT the whole time!!!! I make eye contact I write notes etc etc I'm there every day! and he calls on ME! Like I'm doing something wrong! This used to bother me... a lot... But I'm so used to it now, my face doesn't even turn red anymore and I kind of like to be called on. Funny, huh? He's very intimidating but honestly the funniest, best teacher I've ever had. And that day, when I walked out of his office... I wasn't scared anymore. I knew that he liked me and THATS why he calls on me. I have a whole different view on the man. He really did want to help me.

SO. I walked down the sidewalk in the sunshine taking big deep breaths out loud for the whole world to hear me. Because for the first time.. in WEEKS... I was happy.

I couldn't be happier or more confident at this point in my life.
I hope it stays that way!