Conversation with a five year old...

I was babysitting a little girl named Riley a month or so ago...

While eating our mac and cheese at dinner time, we had the cutest conversation.

She picked up my cell phone and saw a picture of Dylan on the back ground.

Riley: Who is that a picture of on your phone?

Me: My boyfriend, Dylan.

Riley: Where'd he go? ( I guess she'd overheard a previous conversation I had with her mom.)

Me: Well, he is in the Air Force...

Riley: My grandpa used to be in the Air Force! Actually, he used to be in the Army maybe...

(She takes a big bite of mac and cheese and I'm thinking that topic of conversation is over)

Riley: So, how long will he be gone?

Me: Till May

(She is super smart and starts counting on her fingers)

Riley: Only about four more months! That's a long time!! My grandpa only used to leave for about 20 days at a time. But he didn't really ever go to far... Just like, to Tulsa and stuff.

HAHA! Can you believe it?! The things kids say is what I LIVE for!!! (Wow - that statement will really be accurate once I become a Speech Therapist!) Ha!

Anyway... I love to tell stories about the things I hear while babysitting! It seriously brightens my day to hear the things kids have to say!

I love Riley and all the rest!

This is what I get...

For being the worlds biggest procrastinator...

My Sunday will now consist of:

-Laundry.
-Studying terms for Intro to Communication Disorders.
-Laundry.
-Reading chapter 6 for Articulation Disorders.
-Laundry.

And it is WAY too pretty outside to do any of these things! UGH!

Happy Sunday anyway :)

Dear Dylan,
Please come home so you can take me on our first camping trip!
As long as I don't get my hands dirty, or get sweaty or sunburned or anything... I think I'll be fine ;) But this camping business is all you buddy!

Love,
Em

Typical Day

Since January 4th 2010 ...

This is how life has been.

-7:30 -Wake up
-9:30- First class
-I go to my classes until sometime in the early afternoon.
-Depending on what day, I either babysit :) or Work at Creative after my last class.
-Study.
-Eat.
-Study.
-11:30 Sit by the phone and wait/hope for Dylan to call (At this point, it is 10:00am in Afghanistan and he has just arrived at
work)
-Study. Wait for Dylan to email me. (And answer my emails because I pretty much send him 5 a day. ha)
-Around 2am I crawl into bed.. I can receive emails on my cell phone and if he isn't busy, he can still write to me.
-I fall asleep after that and wake up at 7:30 the next morning and start it all over again!

Some days, I'm so tired that my eyes sting all day and I have to fight to keep them open. I can honestly say that it is worth it though. I love to hear his voice and I get SO excited every time I hear "You've got mail" :) :) :)

If I'm really lucky, he will call me in the morning (His night) before he leaves work!! These are the BEST days! I answer the phone, still asleep basically, and he says "Good morning, I only have a few seconds because I've got to catch the bus. But I just wanted to wake you up and tell you to have a good day." Its the sweetest thing in the world. Makes me miss him terribly though :(

I realize that there are women out there who have husbands overseas for YEARS at a time.. and they never get to talk to them. I think I'm pretty lucky to get to talk to Dylan as much as I do.. I honestly don't know what I'd feel inside if I didn't get to talk with him so much. I know I'd probably feel pretty lost though. I look up to all those wives/girlfriends who deal with these situations all the time.. especially if they have babies :(

It is 12:00 am now, and I just got off the phone with Dyl... Off to study now! (You know the routine ;)

84 Days

Here is my goal for the next 84 Days:

1. Make an 85% or above in all 4 of my classes (For my final grade)

2. GET.IN.TO.SHAPE. I need to start walking or whatever. My Jillian Michaels Wii Fit game works pretty well for abs.

3. Build my savings account back up and watch what I spend.

4. Write Dylan more letters on PAPER.

5. Spend time by myself and time with my girlfriends more.

84 Days until Dylan comes home!!

I think I'm in L.o.v.e.

Let me document some things.

May 16th: I met (Ok, not met... I already knew him since the seventh grade) We'll say ran into Dylan Cardwell while at a party. Exchanged numbers and that's where it all began.

Summer 2009: Went swimming in "the river" (there were actually a few rivers we went to that summer.) for the first time. Wore a bathing suit confidently in front of a male for the first time. And received my first fishing license (which I never actually used... but he was sweet to buy it :)

July 20th 2009: We DTR (Determined the Relationship) Actually he'd been asking "Will you be my girlfriend?" for about a month before that. ha. I just finally gave in. That sounds terrible... But I was just making him work a little, ya know?

Sometime in September 2009: (I'll look up the actual date) I was stressed to the max. Studying for my first test in Anatomy. Anxiety attacks all over the place. He kept calling and texting me. I could've strangled him. I wanted to. I was very short and hateful when he called for the last time... trying to explain how serious it was that I studied instead of talk to him. Minutes later he showed up at my door with my favorite sonic drink in his hand. He looked so handsome that night. I knew I loved him then. He puts up with me so well. Not to mention, surprising me with my favorite sonic drink is pretty high on my list of expectations for a man...

December 25th 2009: Our first Christmas. We hadn't been getting along all of Christmas break. But on Christmas day we pulled ourselves together and had a good time. he got me a patagonia jacket that I really wanted and a pearl necklace. I got him a watch that he really wanted and some other little things. We spent the majority of the day with my family.

December 31st 2009: Worst.Fight.Ever. Isn't it funny... I can't even remember what it was about... But I remember the "talk" we had. I remember how I felt. I remember where we were. And I remember spending that night alone while he was at a party. I watched "My Sisters Keeper" and ate about 3 bowls of Chocolate ice cream with chocolate syrup while crying my eyes out (over the movie. not him.) I was sure we were going to break up the next day. Even planning out what to say and how to do it in my head.

January 1st-2nd 2010: LONG TALKS. LONG PRAYERS. WITH GOD. I had to turn to someone else for guidance. Who else? I prayed that God show me the right choice. I wanted to have that "gut feeling" of what I was supposed to do. He told me to stay with Dylan. He told me to WAIT and see what was to come. I listened.

January 3rd 2010: I helped him pack for his 6 month leave to Afghanistan. We got along pretty well. No real serious talk. Stayed up late that night. I tried to calm his nerves but that night was just weird. We were both dreading the next day.

January 4th 2010: He left for Afghanistan. Sad day. Fought back tears the whole way home. I was scared for him and HATED seeing him so stressed out and nervous that morning. We held hands the whole way there... And I wished so bad we were doing it on the way back.

January 5th 2010: I drove around town that day, and EVERY thing I saw that reminded me of him made tears well up in my eyes. I didn't go to sonic. I didn't go to walmart, or target, or the mall. I couldn't drive on his side of town. I just got teary eyed. I hated the fact that I'd have to miss out on all those things with him for the next 6 months. Family and friends were so sweet to keep up with me all day. I got lots of phone calls and those made me smile :)

Sometime in late January 2010:I knew. I just knew. I won't explain how I knew... maybe on a later date... But for now, I'll skip all the gooey details and just tell you that I KNEW... Dylan Cardwell was someone special and that I needed him in my life.

I can't wait for him to get home so we can see if those feelings I have for him are true.

I love the fact that this situation has brought me closer to God. I'm glad I was still and that I listened. I'm glad that those two men are in my life.

I'm a lucky girl :)

Saturday

Lately, I've been having some pretty bad days.

Those days where you just wake up mad and everything goes down hill from that point on. It was bad. I'm talking like... three weeks of bad.

Part of it (I was hoping) was just me adjusting to the "new norm" with Dylan being gone and not being able to call on him during the day and staying up WAY too late so I could "chat" with him through email.. Which really isn't chatting at all, you know. So needless to say... I've been exhausted from adjusting to my new daily schedule.

BUT

Most of it... was school.

I should be a senior this year... graduating and all. But since I spent 3 years earning my associates degree at the community college (Changed major at least 3 times) It has set me back a year and I'm technically "junior status" since being at the UofA since the fall. Well... I have ANOTHER year to go to earn my bachelors degree in Communication Disorders (which I can do nothing with) and it will take me two more years to earn my masters in Speech-Language Pathology. Thats a LONG time for me, friends. I've done the math... and I'll be TWENTY-SIX by the time I get my first "Big Girl Job" (ha)

So... Some things I was EXTREMELY frustrated with... were:

1. Why I am I working SO stinkin' hard to make good grades when there isn't even really a spot guaranteed to me in Graduate school?! What if I apply and I don't get in and so I'm set back ANOTHER year when all I really want to do it be a mommy and a wife?!

2. My advisor tells me I have to get a minor in something. I've done the research... I know which one I'd like to earn, I know the classes I'll have to take (18 HOURS WORTH OF CLASSES!!!...???) And guess what? I do.not.have.time.for.that. I don't have time. I've got to work. I've got to earn money to pay for my car, my gas, etc. HOW THE HECK AM I GOING TO PULL THIS OFF?!

3. I also have all of these "elective hours" I have to earn... I WAS AT NWACC FOR THREE STINKIN' REALLY LONG YEARS why in the world do some of those hours not transfer over? There is no reason in the world why they shouldn't... I paid for them (My parents paid for them :) I earned the good grades in them (I really did do that part) and where did they go? Apparently when you transfer to the UofA they pick and choose which ones they'd like to keep and all the others get flushed down the toilet. I thought NWACC was a good choice... Now I'm changing my mind.

So I suppose those were really all of the big things that had my stomach in knots. But all three of them combined matched with some extreme fatigue... had me set on dropping out.

*I knew I wouldn't REALLY drop out. More like, switch my major to something way more easy and less time consuming.*

So, I made an appointment with my advisor aka Larry Aslin aka the teacher of two of my classes aka the best teacher I have ever had aka the most intimidating man I've ever met.

Yesterday at 11:30 am we met in his office. I showed up with a manilla folder full of every single important paper I'd ever received in the last three years regarding my transcript. I tried to get out how I felt with out... crying... but before I knew it, my voice starting shaking and tears built up in my eyes. He pulled out a box of tissues and set them in front of me with a smile on his face and continued to (very patiently) listen.

I walked out of the meeting with this:

He told me I didn't have to get a minor (I honestly believed he told me otherwise) I asked (twice) if it would affect my chances of getting into Graduate school if I didn't have it. He said absolutely not (Both times)

He went through the papers in my manilla folder, and found the course list of all the classes I had taken and how many hours I still needed to take. Turns out (after dropping the idea of the minor) I only have two classes that I am required to take that were not offered at NWACC. and sixteen hours left of elective hours. WHEW.

Mr.Aslin is a teacher of my first class on MWF. there are 60 plus students in that class. And every day... he calls ME out. EVERY.DAY. One day, I wanted to stand up and say... do you not see the other 60 people in this room?! I even sit in-between two girls (who are my friends and I love dearly) who TEXT the whole time!!!! I make eye contact I write notes etc etc I'm there every day! and he calls on ME! Like I'm doing something wrong! This used to bother me... a lot... But I'm so used to it now, my face doesn't even turn red anymore and I kind of like to be called on. Funny, huh? He's very intimidating but honestly the funniest, best teacher I've ever had. And that day, when I walked out of his office... I wasn't scared anymore. I knew that he liked me and THATS why he calls on me. I have a whole different view on the man. He really did want to help me.

SO. I walked down the sidewalk in the sunshine taking big deep breaths out loud for the whole world to hear me. Because for the first time.. in WEEKS... I was happy.

I couldn't be happier or more confident at this point in my life.
I hope it stays that way!